The Gap Between Intention and Impact
There is often a gap between how we think we show up and how we are actually experienced by other people.
That gap can show up in a conversation, in a meeting, in a text message, in a family dynamic, or in the way we speak to ourselves when no one else is around. Sometimes we mean to be helpful and come across as dismissive. Sometimes we think we are being clear and land as confusing. Sometimes we believe we are being calm, when what others feel is distance. That gap matters because it shapes trust, connection, and growth.
I have been thinking a lot about that gap lately, both personally and professionally. Over time, I’ve come to believe that a big part of living well is learning how to close it.
Psychologist and researcher Dr. Tasha Eurich describes this as a self-awareness problem—the difference between how we see ourselves and how we truly show up in the world. Her work on internal and external self-awareness was a turning point for me as a leader and a coach, especially the finding that while most people believe they’re self-aware, only a small minority actually are. That insight changed the way I think about leadership, feedback, and what it really takes to grow.
Why this space exists
I created ETC: Engineering the Conversation because I believe conversation is one of the most important skills we have as human beings.
Conversation is how we build relationships. It is how we repair misunderstandings. It is how we learn, lead, coach, support, and grow. It is also how we make sense of ourselves. The way we talk to others often reflects the way we talk to ourselves, and the way we listen can reveal just as much as the way we speak.
This publication is a place to explore that.
It is for people who want to become more self-aware, more intentional, and more grounded in how they communicate. It is for people who care about emotional intelligence, resilience, wellness, and personal growth. It is also for people who are trying to understand what happens when AI becomes part of the conversation.
Because that part matters too.
Conversation is changing
We are entering a time when the tools we use to think, write, and create are changing the way we communicate. Prompting a language model is a kind of conversation. It requires clarity, curiosity, patience, and intention. It reveals how we ask questions. It reflects what we assume. It can even show us how we process uncertainty.
That is part of what makes this moment so interesting to me.
The conversation we have with AI is not separate from the conversation we have with ourselves or with other people. They are connected. The better we understand one, the better we can understand the others.
So this publication will live in that intersection:
human growth
self-awareness
emotional intelligence
practical tools
lived experience
and thoughtful use of AI
What you can expect here
This will be a weekly newsletter, with shorter posts in between when something worth sharing comes to mind.
You can expect:
Personal stories and reflections.
Practical ideas for better conversations.
Tools and techniques for self-awareness and growth.
Thoughts on resiliency, wellness, and the human journey.
Experiments and lessons from using AI, prompting, and building with technology.
Honest exploration of how we close the gap between intention and impact.
Some posts will be calm and reflective. Others may be more direct or provocative. But all of them will be rooted in the same purpose: helping us become more aware of how we show up and how we can show up better.
A personal note
I want this to be personal.
Not performative. Not polished to the point of feeling distant. Personal in the sense that I will be putting my own experiences, questions, and lessons on the page. Some of what I share will come from moments I’ve lived through directly. Some of it will come from things I’ve noticed in conversations, in work, in life, or in the patterns people repeat when they are trying to grow.
I believe that authenticity is often revealed when we are willing to be a little exposed.
That is part of the point here.
I have spent the last couple of years writing a weekly personal and professional growth channel for my organization, and this is my way of expanding that work into a broader conversation. I want to create a place where people can feel seen and heard. A place where reflection leads to insight, and insight leads to action. A place where we can think more deeply about being human.
A simple invitation
If this idea resonates with you, I hope you’ll stay.
I hope you’ll read, reflect, comment, and add your own perspective. I hope this becomes a community where people can learn from one another and talk honestly about growth, communication, and the changing role of AI in our lives.
And I hope we can keep coming back to one question:
How do we close the gap between how we think we show up and how we actually do?
That question will guide this space.
Welcome to ETC: Engineering the Conversation.